Special Hour on April 18th--Release Fear and Access Your Inner Strength

Hello Everyone,

What an interesting time we are living through right now.  Unless you are working  in one of the essential businesses, you are probably at home with your family, trying to navigate an uncertain and fearful time.  As Empaths, it can be too easy to tune in to the collective and become overwhelmed by fear and uncertainty, which only exacerbates whatever personal fears we have.

As many of you already know, from the shaman's perspective times like these present an opportunity for change and growth.  Change and growth is hardly ever pleasant, and I'm not discounting the suffering that people are going through right now.  But what can we as Empaths do to help this collective change?

First and foremost, we must take care of ourselves.  We must take care of our own level of fear.  For those of us who are shaman we can be that island of peace for other fearful beings, remembering that fear is an ally but a terrible master.  As Empaths we can offer compassion and our strength of holding emotional space for others.  We are stronger than we think--but we must commit to our self care.

Last month I was interviewed by Bevin Niemann of the Shift Network.  I welcome to those of you who joined my mailing list from that interview!  I'm happy to have you here.  I'm also happy to invite you to a free hour by Bevin that is just for Empaths.  On Saturday, April 18, Bevin, writer, life purpose coach, and co-founder of 1 Million Empaths, will share hard-earned insights and proven practices for navigating life as an empath or HSP during these uncertain times. 

You can register for Release Fear & Access Your Inner Strength & Resilience as an Empath or Highly Sensitive Person, here: https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/rf/a21059

During this special free hour, you’ll discover (or remember):

• Why being sensitive is actually an evolutionary advantage
• How being self-focused is not selfish, it’s necessary for your health and vitality
• How being in defensive and self-protective mode constantly stresses your sensitive nervous system
• An easy exercise for releasing fear and anxiety — and holding your energetic space
• Ways to practice sensing and listening to what you’re feeling without trying to “fix” or rescue others

When you can strike a balance — trusting and owning your gifts as an empath or HSP, and allowing them to guide and ground you during tumultuous times (without giving too much of your emotional energies to others) — you’ll mine the many benefits that come with successfully navigating your challenges…

You can RSVP for free here: https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/rf/a21059

I am also accepting a small number of clients at this time--not my regular schedule as I practice self-care, but don't hesitate to reach out.  The Elk Portal and the Eagle Portal have been rescheduled--more on that coming soon.

Stay well Everyone!

much love,

Elaine  

Coyote Portal Fast Approaching!

Hello Everyone!

Just a quick note to say that the Coyote Portal Workshop is just a week away!  It's Friday  August 23rd in the evening, all day Saturday, and Sunday until 5pm.  We have just a few spots left--if you were interested and would like to come, please let me know.  Click here to view the flyer.

Coyote is the fun loving, mischievous trickster, who is also family oriented, and a shape shifter.   I am REALLY looking forward to knowing Coyote better and learning the tools to be able to step into Coyote consciousness at will.  And apparently this workshop feels like a weekend-long party.  Who wouldn't want that??

If you've had an interest in shamanism, but do not want to commit to a full wheel, or needed an introduction this is a nice way to go.  You will learn great skills without needing any prerequisites, and each workshop, although in a series, stands alone.  Please reach out if you have questions.  Click here to learn more.

Much love,

Elaine

My interview airs this Friday! And Portals Workshop August 23-25th

Hello Everyone!

I hope you are enjoying the end of the school year and the beginning of the summer holidays!  Just a reminder that my interview with Karyn Kulenovic airs this Friday through the weekend; if you haven't signed up yet please click here.  Karyn has interviewed 18 Empath experts, and you can listen for free, with a replay of all the interviews the last weekend of June.

In my interview I talk about animal archetypes and how we can build an individual relationship with these archetypes to help us in our daily lives.  I have hosted two of these workshops here in Portland, first for Raven, and recently in March for Buffalo. Our next animal archetype workshop is the weekend of August 23rd for Coyote.  Coyote teaches us how to not take life so seriously.  Supposedly this workshop feels like a big party all weekend.  I am so looking forward to it!  If you are interested, don't hesitate to contact me for more details.

much love,

Elaine

Empath Summit Season Three with Karyn Kulenovic starts June 8th!

Hello Everyone,

I'm so excited to be a part of the Empath Summit Season Three this year!  From June 8th through June 23rd you can listen to 18 Empath professionals who have used their sensitivity and gifts to build lives and businesses that they love For FREE!  My interview airs June 21st.  I talk about the workshop series with animal archetypes that I host here in Portland, and how each archetype gives us tools that can give us assistance in various aspects of our lives.   I hope you will join us!  Please click here to sign up.

Buffalo Portal Workshop March 22nd-24th!

Happy New Year! It's a bit shocking to be in the second week of 2019, but that means it's time for me to start organizing the next Portal Workshop taught by Marv and Shanon Harwood of Kimmapii School of Shamanism. If you've ever wondered if shamanic training was for you, I highly recommend these Portals classes as a way to immerse yourself in a thorough but gentle way in the realm of the Sacred or the Mythic. Last August Marv and Shanon introduced our group to the animal emissary, Raven, who teaches us how to access Timelessness.

The wonderful thing about working with Raven is that we can bring our regrets and our anxieties (stuck in the past, or stuck in the future) to Raven and deal with those there. I was pleasantly surprised to see how my regrets and worries shifted and changed, and even disappeared. We were also given tools and a practice to continue working with Raven as often as we needed.

Our next emissary is Buffalo, who teaches us how to overcome adversity. Buffalo shows us how to face life's storms, how to stick to our decisions despite opposition, and how to protect those in our circle unable to protect themselves. The Portal classes can be taken in any order. I would love to have you join us--this is a small class setting to keep the atmosphere comfortable. Please contact me if you'd like more details.

Here are the logistics below:

WORKSHOP DATES
March 22-24, 2019
$399
Friday Registration: 4-5 PM / Friday Class: 5-9 PM
Saturday: 9 AM – 8 PM
Sunday: 9 AM – 5 PM

REGISTRATION DEADLINE: February 28, 2019

TO REGISTER Send email to: coachelaine@clearreflectioncoaching.com
 
PRE-REQUISITE: None

LOCATION:
Multnomah Arts Center
Classroom #10
7688 SW Capitol Hwy
Portland, OR 97219

PORTAL #8 ~

Buffalo is the 8th portal on the outer Circle of Life -  and the gateway to the deep and most complex portal ~ The Centre. 

Buffalo not only teaches us to face the adverse situations of life, but also introduces us to some of the most ancient symbology known to man. Come and find out why Buffalo is the perfect emissary to show you how to both face adversity and to prepare for the greatest mystery of all -   your journey into the Centre.  


The world of Buffalo asks ~
    1.  How easily do you make and follow through on crucial
      decisions in the face of opposition or difficulty? 

  2.  Do you make it a practice to protect those in your community, 
       who, for whatever reason, cannot protect or defend themselves?

  3.  How well do you face the storms of life head on?
  4.  Do you have what it takes to move into the Centre?


ABOUT KIMMAPII
Marv & Shanon Harwood have been immersed in Shamanic Studies for more than 25 years. Today they share their combined knowledge through three streams of Shamanism: The Animistic, The Energetic and The Destinistic.


FOR MORE INFO
www.kimmapii.com

Drama and Stepping into Timelessness

Hello Everyone!It is very strange to me that August is already here, and ironic since at the end of the month I am hosting a workshop all about stepping into Timelessness.  Time seems to have sped up for many of us with all our obligations and our busy lives.  Stepping into Timelessness isn't just useful for relieving ourselves from the busy-ness of life, it is also useful for stepping out of Drama.We Empaths can get stirred up with our own internal Drama after we've made a decision, especially if the decision is a firm No to someone who is stuck in Drama themselves.  I had the opportunity recently to work with a client who was prone to Drama, and then to see how stepping into Timelessness can stop the Drama right in Its tracks.My client had been in a years-long friendship with another Empath who happened to be stuck in Victim.  This person had managed to blow little innocent incidents into hurtful, unnecessary Dramas with various people in her life.  After one incident too many involving my client's spouse, my client and her spouse finally and firmly ended the relationship.  Of course, her friend found her unreasonable and unforgiving, and since this friend was stuck in Victim, considered my client a Bully and attacked her verbally.  All her own Shadow issues of jealousy and envy had been projected onto my client in one vicious last swoop.  My client already knew these issues were in play, but had hoped her friend had managed to get control of it and would take responsibility.  But this friend didn't.  It was easy to see that this friend was dangerously carrying around a metaphorical loaded shotgun, and was unconscious to the harm she did to others firing it off whenever her own stuff was triggered.  My client was relieved to let the friendship end, and she was also surprised by how free she felt afterwards.  (This is a typical feeling once we've given up a vampire relationship.)Predictably the former friend wanted to repair the relationship, and she contacted my client once or twice.  My client very wisely ignored her.  She simply wasn't interested anymore--her freedom, and the relief of friends around her was too valuable.  (She didn't realize how much discomfort this friend had been causing in other lives until they confided in her afterwards.)Naturally the Victim friend pulled in a Rescuer who was identified with Rescuing women who had put themselves in dire straights.  This Rescuer was doing his personal work so he could become an energyworker himself.  However, like many people who feel called to the healing arts, he had to work on his tendency to Rescue, and on his identification with being a Light Worker.  As many of you know from reading my blog and my books, shaman are not Light Workers.  Shaman can help assist others in owning the projections of their Shadows so that they can create lives that they want instead of what they create out of their Shadows. My client had the talent of being the social glue for people she loved, so excluding anyone from her life was very hard for her to do, which was of course why she allowed this former friendship to continue for so long in the first place.  The former friend was missing out on community events my client hosted on a regular basis.  The Rescuer saw this and wanted to help.  He contacted my client and told her that this relationship was in need of deep healing, and if she was willing to do the work, then this former friend could be included once again.  Luckily for my client she saw the Rescue right away and didn't turn into a Bully and lambast him for interfering where he didn't belong.  She simply told him that No, she wasn't interested, and in fact there were others that would be negatively affected too, and she didn't want to lose their company either, so No.  The Rescuer in this situation was very disappointed--he unconsciously thought to not only Rescue the former friend who held the Victim story, but to Rescue the friendship as well.  He thought that of course if you are doing your personal work, all relationships could be healed.  (This is a very common faulty belief.)For my client she found the incident amusing at first, because she knew this man was working hard on his Rescuer tendency, but she had also taken on the Rescuer's surprise and disappointment at her firm No.  (Remember, if you are stuck in Rescuer, it's hard to see others clearly--everyone is either a Victim or a Bully.)  In her head she started defending herself and her position, she started going over what exactly had happened in the past to cause her to break off the relationship with the Victim, she started getting annoyed and angry at the Rescuer for breaking boundaries and approaching her when he didn't even know her.  In short, she spun out into her own internal Drama--internal because she was wise enough not to act on it, but she was suffering anyway.  (If you are an Empath, you understand our tendency to slip into this type of suffering.)The solution for her was to do a sandpainting and let Mother Earth transform it, and then she stepped into Timelessness.  Sitting next to her sandpainting, a hummingbird came and hovered in front of her face for a few moments, reminding her to step outside of time, drink only from the deepest nectar of life, and remember that life is in these precious nows.  Then the Drama was done, and she could laugh at the situation again.  Every person has their Shadow to work on--she could go back to being compassionate to everyone involved, including herself, without having to get back into a literal relationship with anyone stuck in Drama.  What a relief!If you related to this story, and you would like to learn how to step into Timelessness, there is still time (haha!) to register for the Raven Portal Workshop taught by my mentor, Marv Harwood, and his wife, Shanon in Portland from Friday evening August 24th through Sunday the 26th.  Just contact me or visit the homepage of my website:  www.elainelajoie.commuch love,Elaine   

My interview with Karyn Kulenovic is Live for the next 72 hours

Hello Everyone,My interview with Karyn Kulenovic is available starting today for the next 72 hours!  I hope you enjoy.  Just click here to sign up and listen.  In case you miss my interview this weekend, the series will replay for free at the end of the Summit.The interviews for the Integrated Empath Master Class are all free, but you can purchase the series to keep. If you do I will earn a small commission, which I gratefully appreciate!Enjoy!Elaine

Shamanic Workshop, August, with Marv and Shanon Harwood of Kimmapii

Hello Everyone,I'm very excited to announce that my mentor, Marv Harwood, and his wife Shanon, have agreed to come to Portland to teach a shamanic workshop.  This is the first of nine Portals workshops, and is a great introduction for those of you who are interested in shamanic work and personal transformation and would like a good place to start.  For those of you who already carry a mesa but would like to learn about another tradition, this is a special opportunity, especially if you are near Portland, Oregon!  Here is a link to the flyer, Raven - Oregon, including more information, and a brief description is below...  The class is limited to 20 students.  I look forward to meeting you in person in August! Here is a description of the workshop from Marv and Shanon:

Throughout the ages, Shaman have walked many paths - all leading to "Portals".Portals are Shamanic gateways to worlds beyond our consciousness;worlds where true healing exists and miracles happen.Come walk the animistic and the energetic paths in tandem to amass theknowledge and skills to create an Amopistaan - your personal animistic mesa.This in-depth series of 9 seminars (portals) is an on-going program of theory & practical hands-on work.The portals are designed to facilitate the successful assimilation of information and skills presented.As the student gains and demonstrates proficiency they will be given rites of passage at each level.Intelligent, articulate, teacher, bridge to the other side - these are all terms thatdescribe the mystery and the majesty of Raven.Come meet Raven and let his black wings and bright eyes carry you from this worldinto the world of timelessness where he'll coach and guide you to find that stillness within.The "Portals" Series is open to everyone. No pre-requisites are required for any of the individual seminars.You may attend them in any order, at any of our teaching locations. Welcome to the journey!

WORKSHOP DATESAugust 24 - 26, 2018$399Friday Registration: 4-5 PM / Friday Class: 5-9 PMSaturday: 9 AM - 8 PMSunday: 9 AM - 5 PM

REGISTRATION DEADLINE: August 10th, 2018TO REGISTER

Send email to: coachelaine at clearreflectioncoaching.com PRE-REQUISITENone

LOCATIONMultnomah Arts CenterClassroom #107688 SW Capitol HwyPortland, OR 97219

The Friends and Family Trap

Recently I had several people tell me that they couldn't possibly set limits on a relationship because the person causing trouble was a long time friend or was a family member.   Even though my clients and friends were mistreated and this mistreatment was nothing new, they all felt that they had to put up with this behavior in order to consider themselves kind, loving, and tolerant people.Tolerating bad behavior with the assertion that it is loving and kind is neither kind nor loving toward the self or to the other person.  The person who does this not only says, "Yes, treat me like dirt," but also says to the culprit, "Yes, your behavior is completely acceptable and you should keep it up.  This is how our relationship works."Is this really what friends and family do for each other?  Some family and some friends, apparently.  But this does not mean that it is healthy to tolerate such behavior.  Yes, everyone is flawed, yes, everyone has bad days, yes, everyone acts at their worst when under stress.  I am not talking about the flawed person who works on themselves to make their impact on others the best that it can be but blows it on occasion.  I am talking about people who have no interest in taking responsibility for themselves and the impact they have on others.These are the selfish people that we are told by colluding family and friends that we must accept for being where they are.  Sure, accept them, but Don't Hang Out With Them.  DON'T make them your intimate partner.  Don't think you have to be with them in order to be a loving, spiritual person.  That is the Rescuer Trap in full force!  Instead, set boundaries so that you are not so affected by their toxic behavior.  Instead go find people that can express that love and kindness to the degree that you can.  Find people who have grown as much as you have in self-love and self-worth.  Welcome into your tribe those that understand the difference between self-absorption and self-knowledge.The Rescuer Role assumes unconsciously that we are better than others.  The Rescuer assumes that the other person in the relationship is so flawed that he/she deserves special treatment and excuses.  The Rescuer unconsciously sees the other person as a Victim.   If we finally decide to leave a situation that is draining or toxic to us, the Guilt Tripping starts, and we are told (and we believe) we are bad people for taking care of ourselves.  We are selfish and unloving, and even unspiritual for being so cruel to the Victim!  The Rescuer Role and Drama is reinforced.Step off the Drama Triangle.  That means looking at the other person in the relationship and seeing them as capable of change as you are.  That means looking at them as having had made choices in life to get them where they are at.  That means looking at the standard that you hold for yourself and only choosing people with similar standards to be close to you.   The key here is the freedom to choose.  If you had free choice, is this what you would choose for yourself?  Choice limits us.  We human beings have limited time and energy.  If we choose people we don't like, who drain us, who annoy and anger us, then we don't have room for people who uplift us, make us smile, and inspire us.  Not only that, but in these toxic situations if we choose to not set healthy limits, we are also choosing to collude in keeping up the other person in an unhealthy state. 

Working Those Imprints! Manifesting What We Want rather than Our Fate

I had several questions from clients this week on why working an imprint is so hard.  An imprint is a belief system that has become so ingrained that it manifests outcomes for us unconsciously rather than consciously.  People come to me to unravel imprints because the outcomes are painful and unwanted.  However, it is possible to unconsciously manifest great outcomes.  The key to remember is that all imprints come with a belief system attached.  If we have faulty beliefs, we will wind up with unhappy outcomes.

When we have an unhappy pattern in our lives, an imprint with its faulty beliefs is at work.  This imprint can come from cultural beliefs, archetypal beliefs, family beliefs and personal beliefs.  Personal beliefs are the easiest to change, and many times we can change our personal beliefs without outside help.  Clients come to me for underworld work usually because of hidden cultural, archetypal, and family beliefs.  These hidden group beliefs tend to run our creations without our ever knowing we have these beliefs.  The shaman can go into the subconscious mind (the underworld) on behalf of the client and begin dismantling the imprint and its corresponding belief system.

However, even with shamanic intervention, it is up to the client to make sure that his words and actions reinforce his new belief system.  If that does not take place, we will still manifest unhappy outcomes because of old habit.  It is this conscious work that so many people slip up on.  Too many clients expect the shamanic work to magically take away unwanted outcomes.  However, the client creates her life, so it is always the client who has to make sure that the change on the energetic and mythic planes comes down to the mental, emotional, and physical planes as well.

Our relationships with our family will change, as well as how we belong within our culture.   Most of the time other people in the group are enslaved by the same imprint and so do not appreciate our new behavior.  They want us back in our role and they will feel betrayed and confused that we are no longer playing.  As you can see, this is deep, hard work.  Change on this level is difficult and challenging.  Too many of my clients expect easy, graceful, magical change without these repercussions.  While that can happen in some instances, working at this level take tremendous courage and practice.  I say this not to be discouraging but to encourage my clients who are in the thick of dismantling sticky family and cultural imprints not to give up, to keep plugging through.  It is worth the effort to create a great foundation of supportive imprints and beliefs.  Then life does become easier and more magical.

We begin throwing off our predetermined fate and more options and outcomes become probable for us.  This is the heart of personal work.  I hope this helps to answer why this work can feel so hard and confusing. 

much love,

Elaine

Creativity and Growing Up

Most of us have heard that to be creative we must be in touch with our inner child, and that our inner child is the creative aspect of ourselves.  This is true.  But sometimes a big block to being creative is failing to grow up.  When clients come to me blocked in their creativity we look at how their beliefs and behavior have formed predictable outcomes.  More often than not, my client has the belief system of a child; he hasn’t yet fully grown up.  While he may be in his 40’s, parents to young children, or even a grandparent, these life events do not guarantee that he is a grown-up.

How does not growing up block our creativity?  To successfully create, we must be partnered with Spirit.  We are fully equal partners, not Spirit as above us in hierarchy and we below.  So many of us come to the conscious spiritual path with our parental issues still unhealed.  We look to Spirit to take care of us, to guarantee us a life of grace and flow.  In fact, what can happen is that Spirit pushes us into growing up, and this process can be very uncomfortable.

If we have a Heart’s Desire directed from our Soul, such as to make a big splash in the world by being a leader, or to write a best selling novel, or to sell a beloved screenplay, but we haven’t yet grown up, Life is going to put in our way opportunity after opportunity to become responsible for ourselves.  Many clients have told me this is too scary.  And yes, it is frightening.  Yes, it does require courage, yes, that means facing down fear, and yes that means we might fail.  Many clients have told me that this is not fair—this isn’t what the conscious Spiritual path promised.  These clients want the childish wish of success with no risk.  Of course it is much much easier to not grow up!  For a fully empowered creative life, growing up is required.

One of the pitfalls of working as a psychic and shaman is being put in the position of Rescuer and Good Mother.  Many a client who has not grown up wants me to be responsible for decisions, and they expect favorable outcomes.  Of course, the purpose of my life and practice is to be of service to others in empowering themselves, the complete reverse of unspoken expectations from clients unwilling to grow up.  When I point out to these clients that they need to start making decisions for themselves, they are usually shocked and resentful.  Most of these clients want me to tell them exactly what to do.  They want the guarantee of the successful life without feeling the burden of doing their own work.

We are all creative beings.  We all have a creative inner child.  That inner child needs proper guidance and parenting.  So many of us did not get that kind of support from our own parents, or we received good parenting for the survival or practical side of life, but creativity was labeled impractical or squashed.  We may have hurt and shaken inner children to guide.  We may have a fantastical, whimsical but totally flighty inner child.  It is up to us to guide our precious inner selves into manifesting what we love on the physical plane.  That requires a good parent; that requires us to be Grown Ups.

Growing up means that we make a decision and we accept the consequences.  Growing up means that we stop straddling fences and commit to our Hearts or that we accept that we aren’t willing to do so.  Growing up means that we look at our needs and the needs of others around us and take the whole picture into consideration instead of satisfying our own needs selfishly and justifying it as self-care or satisfying everyone else’s needs before our own and justifying that as being caring and reliable.  Growing up literally means being willing to make hard decisions even though they may be completely wrong and may lead to failure, disaster, and even death.  (Empaths love to block themselves with a little Drama!)

Growing up means becoming more Conscious.  Anyone who has done the work of staying Conscious will tell you that it is no fun, but it is totally worth it.  Creativity requires being in the moment, and requires being Conscious.  Creativity can be uncomfortable because as we create we come across all sorts of feelings, thought-forms, and bodily sensations that simply do not feel pleasant.  Not to mention the grip of being consumed by a creative project.  It is no wonder that so many creative people resist creating even though we love it and are driven to do it!  But, if we are Grown Ups, we show up and do the work to manifest our Dream and Vision despite the unhappy feelings, despite the negative thoughts, despite the physical discomfort, despite unsupportive friends, family, etc.  (Some of you may ask, does creating always feel this horrible?  Not always, but creativity requires going into the void, and human beings don’t like that because it is unknown and uncertain, which means scary and risky.)

Grown ups transcend the natural difficulties in a situation—as my husband likes to say, Grown ups Suck It Up and Deal!  When we come to accept that creativity can be difficult emotionally, challenging mentally, and full of risks, these obstacles cease to be so daunting.  We just get on with it instead.  We move forward a little bit, a little at a time.  Sometimes we will be inspired, sometimes we won’t be.  But the Grown Up gets out there consistently.  We are here to be creative.  That means that there must be some daily doing, which means that there must be some daily discipline, which means there must be some daily self-coaching.

Just like we send our kids to school every morning unless they are sick or feeling unsafe, we set our inner child to work on our creativity, with us as the Grown Up in charge.  This may seem harsh, unjust, and unfair.  This may not seem like bliss, ease, grace, and flow.  This may seem contrary to what the conscious spiritual path promised.  If you think so, let your inner child throw a tantrum, and then make the decision to Suck It Up and Get On With It!

The Empath and Dealing with an Emotionally Dissociated Hero in Recovery

Hi Everyone,

I had a question today from an Empath who is married to an Emotionally Dissociated Hero.  They have both been hard at work dealing with old wounds and traumas that have led her to have poor boundaries in the past and have led him to dissociate and push away his feelings.  However, as the Hero becomes in touch with his old repressed feelings, all that old emotional energy has bubbled up, as is very common when we work through old trauma.  The Empath has had a hard time dealing with her husband's vibration, even though they are both conscious of what is happening.  Not only is she picking up on his emotional state, it is also making her physically ill.  Her question is around how to deal effectively as a partner with his healing without becoming sick herself.  The key here is to use tools on the Mythic and Energetic Planes to move the healing along instead of work just at the mental-emotional (Symbolic Plane) so that neither one become sick at the Literal plane (physical body) Please follow the comments if you are interested.

much love,

Elaine

Fan-Hero Family System Ebook Now Available

Hello Everyone!

I've just posted a new ebook on my website in the shop called The Empath and the Hero-Fan Family System.  I first published these essays in 2009.  These essays have been revised and expanded.  If you are an Empath and you've found yourself caught in confusing relationship patterns where everything seems normal, healthy and happy on the outside but on the inside you feel crazy, sick, tired, and confused, you may be dealing with unhealthy Heroes or unhealthy Fans.  These essays cover what this type of family system looks like, how Emotionally Dissociated Hero behavior is reinforced by Fans. 

Also included is a description of Secret Drama, a painful relationship dynamic between an Empath and a Hero  in which the Empath keeps secrets for the Hero but then the Hero makes the Empath into a scapegoat for the entire Family so the Family can keep its illusion of health and happiness.  Many people find my website because they have this painful relationship with a Hero.  I map out why this relationship unfolds the way it does and how the Empath can extract herself and then heal using shamanic work.

I hope you find this new ebook helpful!

much love,

Elaine

Creativity and Expansion

I was talking to my mentor, Greta Holmes, yesterday about the discomfort I've been feeling around changing my practice.  As I've looked back on my life, I see that I go through these cycles of expansion as I move into my creativity.  I had been feeling in somewhat of a double bind, because the emotional signals to expand are so uncomfortable: first boredom as what I am currently doing no longer feels like enough, then anxiety at the thought of what it would take to dive into something new or dive into that creative side once again.  Sure enough, one of my coping mechanisms for dealing with these uncomfortable emotions is to eat lots of chocolate.The trick for me is to realize that this is part of being a creative being.  Expansion will come, and I have to use those emotional signals (and as Empaths we are SO in touch with our emotions) to let me know that what is before me is a decision--sit still or move forward.  The most painful part of this cycle is to not decide.  Once I decide, then the emotions subside, and all that energy that was going into them can go into my creativity.I find this very exciting as I move away from one-on-one work into more writing, but scary as well.  Here's to hoping that you will break yourself free from the status quo when boredom and then anxiety hits you.  Remember, it's all good, it's a sign that you are evolving!much love,Elaine

I'm Returning to Client Work

Hello Everyone!I hope summer fun is making its way towards you.  I've had a very interesting six months reshaping my practice and diving into my personal work.  I've just completed my second trip around the medicine wheel, and it's so nice to feel clear and feel ready to move forward once again.  As you know, I stopped taking clients last year.  I'm once again ready to take just a few clients through word of mouth referrals.  If you have worked with me in the past, and would like a session, I'm ready to hear from you.I'm also cruising along with my book on Relationships for the Empath.  This book combines shamanic personal work, Archetypes, and personal and client stories into a guide for Empaths so we can understand where we tend to trip up in our relationships.  I'm very excited about how this book is coming together.  Right now the plan is to publish as soon as possible on Amazon, with a CD set to go along with it for those Empaths that love listening more than reading.During this time off I've rediscovered how much I enjoy the work.  Part of my new practice is mentoring beginning shaman practitioners in client work, and spending more time documenting what I learn as I go.  I'm really looking forward to diving in once again.  In honoring the shift I've experienced, the website will soon have a different look, as well as this blog.  I hope you will enjoy it.much love,Elaine

Family System Reinforcement Essays

Hello Everyone! I hope you enjoy the labor day weekend.  Here in Portland we're planning on enjoying a bbq on Sunday despite the rain in the forecast.  I just love autumn! This week I've published several new essays on my website around Family System Reinforcement.  These essays follow one Empath through a Family System and show her path in healing from the typical Empath wounds of rejection and abandonment so she can form her own happy marriage and family.  If you are an Empath, these essays are for you.  If you are an emotionally dissociated Hero these essays may also be helpful in seeing how the Archetypes of Empath and Hero interact.www.elainelajoie.com/EmpathyandRelationshipsBook.htmThe new essays are toward the bottom of the page under the heading, Family System Reinforcement.Enjoy, and have a wonderful holiday weekend!much love,Elaine

The Empath and Archetype

Hi Everyone,I hope you all are enjoying this beautiful summer!  In Portland we're starting another thankfully short heatwave after a few weeks of cool days in the 70's.  I had an interesting synchronistic experience last week that I wanted to share with you.  As most of you know, when synchronicity is in action, Spirit is in action--we've stepped out of linear time and into circular time.  It's a cool and magical experience.  I had this plus the veil between waking time and dream time lift briefly to give me a glimpse into my own healing process.  What magic, but whoa!As all of you know I've been working on a series of essays to collect into a book for the past two years based on the healing journey of most Empaths.  What I've concluded from working with clients and from my own personal healing work is that Archetypal forces shape our lives more than we might think.  Our lives feel very personal to us (especially if we have the Archetype of Empath) but in the larger picture, we are living out similar archetypal patterns.  So, my book and my Empath Telecall have been centered around these archetypal forces so we can understand what is happening to us and step out of archetypal forces, or at least use the best parts of the archetype for our benefit.For the past three calls I have been pulling lessons out of my own personal story to illustrate the collective force of the Family, and how that force can be so strong we may not break free of it to lead the lives that we might choose for ourselves.  I had been afraid that I might step too strongly into my own personal story when it came to describing the archetype of the Fan, because in my past people with the Fan archetype have irritated and disappointed me greatly.  (The Fan is the archetype that is most concerned about the group and maintaining the group or family, even at the expense of the individuals involved.)The night before I held my telecall I had a dream in which tornados were taking out the buildings of my college campus.  I had looked behind me, and two tornados were tearing a building apart.  As I turned my head to the right, three more tornados were taking out another building.  Now I was terrified and afraid that I was going to be caught in the twisters and killed.  I started to run.  But, when I looked ahead of me, two more tornados were destroying yet another building.  In that moment I understood that I was not going to survive this, and my fear went away.  It was OK to let myself die.I woke up feeling well rested, oddly enough, given the dream!  Usually I do not know until the last minute who will be on these telecalls.  As it turned out in this call all the participants had Fan mothers (including me.)  The lecture that I had prepared was pertinent personally to each of them, and it made such a difference as to how they were viewing their relationships with their Fan mothers.  In fact, the call helped me understand my own mother, and the Fans in my husband's family better as well.  Spirit brought the right participants, and my worries about becoming too personal were unfounded; after all, I was talking about the collective's archetypal patterns.The next day my husband and I were at the park with our toddler son.  We were talking about the insights I had come to from giving my telecall, and how we could let the anger and guilt we still had at leaving his family system die.  While we were happy that we had escaped the powerful group think so we could have the lives that we really wanted, there were still parts of us that cycled between guilt and anger at having done so.  Of course, the remaining guilt and the anger are residues of the strength of influence the family group think had over us.As we talked about this, on my right, just out of my arms reach, a dust devil stirred up.  It swirled into a mini twister about a dozen feet tall, threw up bark chips in my hair, my husband's hair, then moved past me to my son and threw chips into his hair, then it chased a toddler across the park before dissipating.  We started laughing at this, given my dream of two days before.  We were getting cleaned out to the very roots, and not only had I seen it in dream time, I had seen it in waking time, too.  Progress in our healing made, with comfirmation from Spirit!I love working with Spirit!  Healing work is usually a mixture of hard work and joy at the freedom coming our way when we really step in to the path of power.  But for me, those meetings of Spirit making the huge signs are the most rewarding.  I hope this story helps you step in and claim those places where you are still giving your personal power away instead of using it for your own creativity and joy.much love,Elaine 

New Essays Available

Hello Everyone!I hope you all are enjoying your summer.  I am happy to say that I am feeling much much better, so much so that I've been able to return to writing, and to working one-on-one with clients on a limited basis.  Right now I'm able to take new clients for Intuitive Readings, but I'm limiting energywork sessions to those people who have worked with me on my Empath Telecall.  If you've been waiting for a reading, please let me know.I've published six new essays to the website for purchase.  The new essays are around our Soul's Calling, and the challenges of following a Spiritual path and being a co-creator with Spirit.  You can see these essays by visiting my website at this link: http://www.elainelajoie.com/EmpathyandRelationshipsBook.htm These essays are toward the bottom of the page, and labelled added July 23rd.  Many thanks to my clients for inspiring these essays and for letting me be a facillitator in their healing process!Also, I've posted a new essay at  around the challenges of giving up denial, especially when we may be still surrounded by other living in Illusion.  Sometimes we can wonder why we started on the path at all when life can feel excrutiating.  Denial is like an emotional immune system, keeping us happy when all is really not well.  For those of us on a Spiritual path, we consciously turn off that emotional immune system.http://www.elainelajoie.com/GivingUpDenial.htmI hope these are helpful.  For the rest of the summer I'll be focussing on finishing up those essays on Family Reinforcement, the Emotionally Dissociated Hero, the Fan, and the Empath.  Once those are complete, I will announce it here.  In the meantime, I hope you'll enjoy the website and the Empath Telecalls.much love,Elaine 

Shamanic Work and Family System Reinforcement

Hello Everyone,I just recently returned from working with Marv and Shanon Harwood of Kimmapii Energies up in Alberta, Canada.  This was a great opportunity for me to revisit the South work of Shedding what no longer Serves, plus I had the chance to see Marv again.  While I am recovering from my experiences of the Spring, I highly recommend Marv if you need energywork done.  He certainly did some amazing work on me while I was there!  His website is http://www.kimmapii.com/Also, I just finished recording the Eighth Empath Telecall.  In this call we talked about how our Family System keeps us stuck in old patterns and behaviors that might not be in our best interest, and how painful it can be when we stop colluding with our family of origin.  The next call we'll talk more about how shamanic work can undo family belief systems that began generations ago that still keep us bound in the present.  In both calls I use my personal experiences and experiences with clients.  If you are interested in listening, go to http://www.clearreflectioncoaching.com/EmpathTeleclassPurchase.htm

My practice is full, but I hope to take more clients soon.

Hi Everyone,As some of you already know, I've had to limit my practice because  I was ill for all of April and most of May.   Last year these health problems were directly related to working with heavy duty client energy.  But this year I discovered that these new health problems were more related to stepping into what the shaman calls destiny, which usually involves deathwork as we step into change.  So, until I figure out this next step in my personal work, I am accepting only those clients who have worked with me in the past or whom I've worked with on my Empath Teleconference Call.  I hope towards the end of the year to work with more of you, especially those of you who have requested intuitive readings.In the meantime, please use my site as a resource, and visit my links page to look for other coaches and shaman.  I highly recommend Greta Holmes, Hilda Porro, Marv Harwood, Irina Dittert, and Steven Encinas plus the others listed on my site are also very very good.   These are the people who work on me, so I know how gifted and connected to Spirit they are.There are now 7 audio conference calls and 11 essays for purchase on the website.  If you found my website because you were dealing with someone who is an Emotionally Dissociated Hero, and you found the free essay helpful, you'll find many of these essays and audios helpful, too.  Just go to workshops, click on the Empath Teleconference Call, and there will be a listing of what is now available.  I am also working on getting transcripts of the calls, since many people prefer reading those rather than listening.  I had hoped to have all the essays posted, but I have not had the chance to concentrate on writing.  I plan on having everything up by the end of the summer, and to have hardcopies available for purchase on amazon soon after that.In the meantime, I am travelling to Canada to study the Medicine Wheel with Marv Harwood in June.  This will be my second time through the wheel, and I am both looking forward to it, and also wondering how it will be this time around.  The medicine wheel is a process of transformation, so it is fitting to spend the year working through the wheel as I come to terms with what I am becoming as far as that destiny goes.  ;-)Many of you have sent me questions which I'll soon be able to answer here on the blog.  Have a wonderful summer, and I will appear here again very soon!much love,Elaine