Empaths & Weight

I have recently made the connection between being an Empath and taking on extra body weight. I never noticed this before and I wonder why it isn't discussed more in the weight-loss communities. Are people aware of it? I know it is common for victims of sexual abuse to become obese which makes sense. (Oprah's story is one that comes to mind). I also noticed before that many massage therapists are often more heavyset. Is this because by touching people they automatically process more of their stuff and need a barrier?I also have my own recent experience with finally losing a significant amount of weight that I had had for years. The catalyst in me losing it was actually a HUGE fight I had with my father while visiting. Immediately after the fight I flew home and felt a blow in my 3rd chakra as though a physical cord had been severed and that a significant separation had involuntarily occured--after butting heads with my father for years. While I didn't make the connection until much later, it was very shortly after this that I felt pulled to go to a Weight Watchers meeting. Once I made that commitment, losing the weight was not all that difficult. It seems as though all the elements were in place.Throughout the process and even now I look back and notice how weight is a protective layer. I recently heard someone say that overweight individuals are in "protective" mode. What is it protecting us from?It wasn't until a session with Elaine when the other puzzle piece came together. I learned I was an empath and as a result I process other peoples emotions and "stuff", subconsiously. Finally a name to what I'd been feeling all this time! This is why I always was so tired, especially around people. Being tired makes me feel like I need more "fuel" which makes me eat more than is necessary, which makes me gain weight, which gives me the protection I needed. A-ha! It's all linked together.For me, I can see that my father is the person who I had always tried to help emotionally, taking on his stuff, always trying to fix it, make him feel better, etc.. While never being able to. The funny thing is, I think my father is exactly this same way!This has made me think about so many other Empath issues and I wonder if cigarette smokers do it to push people away because they "can't handle" life?I'd love to learn more about this if anyone has any insights!

Boundaries, Speaking our Needs

Hi Everyone,I had a client ask me recently what to do when a roommate invites a houseguest over for a 10 day stay during the holidays in an already crowded apartment. My client is highly intuitive and sensitive, and also gives readings, which means she needs considerable down time. Her question was how to handle the situation, and whether or not there was more she could do energetically to protect herself during this time, or if she should just plan on staying somewhere else.Sometimes the best energetic boundary is speaking up for ourselves and our needs. Empaths know they have a different set of needs than most people, and so we can get the idea that our needs don't count as much because they seem unreasonable or too different from the rest of the world. Learning how to speak our needs unapologetically is a basic step in proper self-care. Yes, we take the first scary step in admitting who we are, but how else are people to truly know us?Empaths and intuitives tend to withdraw from this type of situation. A while back I wrote an essay on the need to speak up and the unconscious tendency of sensitive people to withdraw instead of communicate. You can visit that essay atIntuitive, Introverted PatternIn the end my client spoke to her roomate about discussing before hand any more extended visits. Her roommate did not "get" the problem, but because she respected her relationship with my client, agreed. My client was pleasantly surprised and took this as a lesson in her process of learning to claim and take care of who she really is.Elaine

Soul Retrieval Stories

Hi All,Some of you have requested more information on what it's like to have a Soul Retrieval with me, and what Soul Retrieval can help. I've just set up a new page on my website that contains links to client stories of soul retrieval and other energywork.Just go to:http://www.clearreflectioncoaching.com/SoulRetrievalStories.htmEnjoy!!

New Essay on Empathy

Hi Everyone,I've finished a new essay on the challenges of being an Empath called Emotional Advocacy. It's under the publications page of my website. In this essay I talk about my experience of being pulled into the position of being the defender of an emotionally dissociated person. I was under the pull of a particular group dynamic, which many empathic people can find themselves in. I hope you enjoy, and that it's useful!The direct link ishttp://www.clearreflectioncoaching.com/EmotionalAdvocacy.htmElaine

Creating Good Boundaries with My Partner and with Others

In a previous comment around taking on other people's energy, Jenna asked how I turn off taking on my husband's energy. Believe me, this is still a work in progress!!The first step is to become aware that I am taking on his energy in the first place. Many times, I get so wrapped up in processing his stuff, that I don't realize it is his and not mine. If I can get my head above water, I'll ask myself, is this my drama? The biggest clue for me that I'm processing my husband's stuff is that I can't resolve it on my own.For me, usually I can resolve my own conflicts, inner and outer, very quickly, because I don't mind conflict. But, when I'm processing another's stuff, it doesn't work out gracefully and causes problems like suddenly jumping into things that aren't really my business. So, if the "stuff" sticks around, I've learned to ask, "Is this really mine?" Especially if I start thinking all sorts of weird thoughts towards people that I wouldn't usually have a problem with.Very recently I discovered that I was carrying around my husband's anger that he was holding toward certain people in his familiy. For him, he's been taught/programmed that feeling anger, especially toward them, is not acceptable. For me, I come from a family that is not afraid of conflict, and in fact probably over-expresses their anger sometimes. ;-) However, because I'm not afraid of anger, and I have a healer's energy system, I'll gladly take on unconsciously whatever anger my husband doesn't want to deal with.When I figured out interaction out, I used a shamanic technique to send the anger/emotions back to my husband. I set the intention to collect all the energy that belonged to him that was not mine, and then I blew it back into his second chakra. My poor husband immediately felt anger. By my refusing to process it for him, he's starting the uncomfortable task of being in conflict and resolving his conflicts in a healthy way. He's also now learning to be comfortable with having the emotion in the first place, and learning what belief system and what woundings have come along with his anger. It's a huge task.Also, for the example where I had the symptoms of food poisoning the day after he did, I knew I was susceptible to taking on his stuff, and I set the intention to not take it on. Unfortunately I still did! But, another thing that we can do, if we feel that we are taking stuff on physically, is to put it into the symbollic or the mythic plane instead of our physical bodies. Many times I'll tune into a client, and tune into all their physical symptoms. One thing I can do instead is draw a tarot card and see symbollically what is going on with them if I know that they are experiencing heavy symptoms so my own body will not have to go through the same thing.Mostly, though, it is the intention to not process for the other, and to stay aware when I'm doing so. It takes practice!!Elaine

Welcome to the new Blog!

hi all!I've converted my discussion board into a blog. All the previous posts to the discussion board are here in the October archives. This blog is set up so that your email address does not appear, so you will be protected from spam. If you'd like to ask me a question, but do not have time to set up a formal session with me, I will respond to it in this forum.To ask me a question or to start a new discussion thread, please register for the blog through word press. Just hit the login link at the top right of this page to register. When you register, Word Press will send you a password, and then you'll be able to write a post under the Write Tab. The post will go to me for review before being officially posted on the site.To be notified of new posts to the blog, sign up by writing your email addres in the box on the right subtitled FeedBlitz. Enjoy!!thank you!!Elaine

Energetic Healing, Energetic Contracts

A client asked:Hi!I have never posted a message on a discussion board before...but being that I just went through an energetic healing session with Elaine (who really rocks!) I am making good on the "welcome home party for my long lost soul part" phase.ANYHOO!My question is about Energetic Contracts - as in what are they? How are they formed? Does a person/soul impose it on themselves, or is some other person/soul involved??? How is it that they bind other family members (soul family members?) and/or the same soul over different lifetimes? Why are they so difficult to break??? Are there ones that are good too, not just ones that really suck a lot of energetic butt?Looks like my question kinda multiplied like bunnies there...Must be SPRINGTIME!;O) Wendy

The meaning of 10:10

Hi Elaine,I'm continually seeing the numbers 10:10, especailly around a spiritual or psychic "event"...I have a feeling that its a message from my spirit guides telling me Im on the right track...What are your feelings on this...I'd be interested to see what everyone else thinks also...is it similar to the meaning of seeing 11:11 or is that something different in itself?peace and loveJason Cook

Spirit versus Soul

A client asked:What is the difference between your spirit and your soul and how does one relate to the other?Jason

Past Lives? (Generational Imprint)

A client asked me:I was wondering if you could possibly help me with this....I've been working on my own psychic pathway now for a while and the subject of past lives have always intrigued me...every since i was a young child I've been haunted by a dream I had of being in a factory and seeing a conveyer belt of severed hands passing by me and what seems to me to be a witch running the machine....The interesting thing is since I was a young child I've had OCD...in particular not wanting to get my hands dirty and always feeling like I need to wash them....is it possible there's a connection here...Any insight would be greatly appreciated....Jason

Meeting Your Spirit Guides

A client asked this question:Hello everyone,I am wondering how you met your Spirit Guides or better, how they introduced themselves to you!I have asked twice during meditation for them to reveal themselves to me and both times a name popped into my head (Oliver, Alexanna). I am wondering how it was made clear to you that they are your guides and that it just wasn't your imagination!I am so excited to meet my Guides and yet I wonder if it's in my head or if they have revealed themselves to me!!!?!Thanks,Christine

Life Transition

A request from a classmate:Elaine and friends,My name is Ann and we met at Sonia Choquette's Six Sensory Practitioner workshop in Chicago. I enjoyed connecting with you, Elaine, and Jenna, and am grateful for your efforts in organizing the phone call and encouraging the use of your discussion board. Thanks!I'm sure that one reason we connected is because you have made the transition that I am smack in the middle of...from one career to another and living more authentically as a six sensory person.I can feel my core energies getting stronger and stronger and the general vision for what comes next becoming clearer. I hope to learn more from you about how you managed your transitions as I make my way through mine.For now, I work at a university, coordinating computer training. The more my intuition grows, the harder it gets. The culture of not being real is stifling.The vision is to be self-employed as a feng shui consultant, combining floral design in my practice. Sonia Choquette recommended this in my reading, and I have been trying this on, with fun synchronicities along the way.I am listening for guidance about next steps...whether to leave my current locale - strong vibes for that -- and how, when....or whether to try to get more going here. Something in me wants to pick up and move to California and simply start a new life as my authentic self, with fresh new energy. And not a lot of money in the bank to do it with! :-)Any vibes or support or tales from your paths as I gather my courage and move forward would be appreciated.

Creativity, Love that Lasts, and the Beginners Mind

In my last Vein of Gold workhop we discussed the importance of approaching our creativity, our relationships, and life in general with a beginners mind. When we become experts on our art, or on our friends and family, or on life, we become bored and boring. In reality, we cannot even know ourselves completely---we are each that much of a mystery. Creativity becomes a way of ongoing self discovery, of awareness in the moment, and of fully engaging the world with freshness. By approaching our relationships in the same way, by acknowledging that we cannot know everything about another, we are able to be fascinated anew. Try beginners mind not just with your creative endeavors but with your partner and see if you fall in love all over again. I would love to hear about your experiences with beginners mind.Elaine

I embraced my path, and now my life is falling apart!

Did you begin your spiritual path hoping to be more happy, centered, and successful, with more rewarding relationships, work, and abundance? Have you experienced your life falling apart instead?For me, and for many of my clients this is a common experience. Our dissatisfaction with life begins our spiritual search, and we become happier with the search, and then WHAM right when we get going life falls apart. What's going on here?My own thoughts are that when we truly commit to ourselves and expressing that self in the world, we come to a point where we must let everything that doesn't align with that true self go. Actually, all that doesn't fit is going anyway---it's our attachment to the old stuff (even if it was unhelpful old stuff) that hurts.I've gone through several of these clearing experiences over the years, and each time I've wound up more happy, centered, successful, with more rewarding relationships, work, and abundance. Now, I've learned to welcome the painful chaotic parts of this process, knowing that something better is right on the other side.Sometimes a kundalini experience accompanies the releasing process.What are your thoughts? Have you experienced this burning and rebirth process?Elaine

Is it true that if I don't feel good I can't create what I want?

In my Heart's Desire class and Attract Your Ideal Mate class I've had many questions around the importance of feeling good and raising energy in order to create what we really want. The typical teaching goes: Happy energy is good, Unhappy energy is bad. Usually clients feel like they are doomed because they don't feel good much of the time.In my own life I've created wonderful things that I truly desired when I was feeling awful. For a certainty it is much easier to create when we are feeling good. But, if we happen to be feeling bad (angry, sad, doubtful, guilty, exhausted, etc.)that's just the way it is in that moment, and there is nothing wrong with that.What's more important here than trying to feel good so we can be in the right "space" to create what we want is to authentically experience whatever we are feeling in the moment. There is no need to be afraid of an authentic experience! By acknowledging our feelings and feeling them in the moment they will pass. In many instances just the acknowledgement of what we are feeling will help us locate the subconscious belief that could be generating the negative feelings.It's important to remember that all feelings are temporary. It's a relief to know that the bad emotions are temporary as long as we don't repress them. But, it is also true that the good emotions are temporary, too. I'd suggest letting them all flow by not pushing away the bad ones or trying to hang onto the good ones. By allowing our emotional state to be whatever it happens to be at the moment, we can make sure we are spending our energy taking loving actions from intuitive guidance and focussing on heart's desires, which is what is at the heart of the conscious creation process.Elaine

Why are all these old boyfriends showing up now?

Have you ever had the experience of deciding to change your life, and then suddenly all sorts of temptations appear to throw you off track?In our Attract Your Ideal Mate class we warn our participants about half way in that once they make the commitment to attract an Ideal Mate, many of their previous relationships will make another appearance. This happens with such regularity that we've made it a topic of the course. In one such instance a participant was contacted by several old boyfriends within the same week.What's going on here? We think what's happening is that Spirit/God/theDivine (how ever you want to call it) is arranging another opportunity for choice. Some think of it as a test of sincerity to choosing a new way of living (in this case, a new kind of relationship), but I wonder if it's not also an opportunity to achieve closure with old relationships before moving on to the rewarding next one.Has this happened to you, either with relationships or with other big life changes?Elaine

My Growing Intuition has made my friends less attractive

Have you ever had the experience of being with a group of people who all appeared to be enjoying themselves and having a good time, but at the same time you felt tension and unspoken words underneath the surface?For intuitive people, such experiences can be disorienting and confusing. Intuitive people are usually also highly empathic. They can tell when someone is lying, and they also can feel the shift in mood even if no one else is acknowledging it in words.Many intuitives when young speak about their experiences and then have them immediately discounted by adults who were very invested in making everything look nice on the surface. If this happened to you, and you believed these adults, it could be a long process to trust your intuitives hits.When I began fully embracing my intuition as an adult, I found that I could no longer tolerate being close with certain people, but not only that, I no longer *wanted* to be close to them. This can be very hard to explain to others who do not value intuition, or who are so invested in not knowing what's really going on they live in denial and stay on the surface.Has this happened to you? Do you have any suggestions on how to handle it?Elaine

The Importance of Feeling Feelings

Most people would agree that focusing on the positive will bring a generally happy, more fun experience of life. But what if we are feeling very negative emotions? Most people would name anger, fear, resentment, guilt, hatred, sadness, etc. as intrinsically negative.In fact, most people don't want to feel those feelings, or at least want to get rid of them as fast as possible. Usually this turns into denial, or repression, or projection onto others. In some spiritual circles it's considered unspiritual to have these emotions.I disagree. In my opinion, we are having a human experience, and part of that experience includes what we would label negative. I've always gotten into trouble when I haven't admitted to myself whatever I am feeling. And for me, the surest way of moving through a feeling is to feel it completely. It's the only way I can be sure I'm not blocking this feeling somewhere within my body.Then I can go back and look at whatever beliefs triggered the emotional response in the first place. In this way, any emotional reaction becomes a blessing and potential gift in disguise.Have you used your negative emotional responses to discover your core beliefs or your true nature?Elaine

Uncomfortable in a Cluttered Space

One of my former clients recently asked me why she felt so uncomfortable in a cluttered space. Physical clutter is energetically draining. As we open up to our intuitive guidance more and more, we notice how our energy is drained. Once she removed all clutter from the room, and also as many objects as possible, she found herself loving to be in that space.What are you experiences with spaces, clutter, and the feeling of comfort within rooms? Has your intuitive ability increased the more you put yourself in a cleared space?Elaine

Can an Intuitive Hit feel bad?

One questions I'm asked often in my intuition class is, Can an intuition feel bad? In my personal experience, I'd have to say that Yes, an intuitive hit can definitely feel uncomfortable.There are of course intuitive hits that feel neutral, calm, and very subtle and quiet. This was my experience as I first began my relationship with my intuition. As I got to know my guidance better, it started to become very loud and clear.Also, our bodies are designed to take in intuitive guidance. Having hightened senses is necessary to receiving guidance in the first place. It's completely human to have "negative" and "uncomfortable" sensations---it's a part of life.If I have a bad feeling about someone or about one side of a choice, I definitely consider that feeling as guidance (especially when I have no rational reason for the feeling) and I trust that and follow that. I've definitely gotten myself into trouble when I've ignored it.I'd love to hear about your experience with good and bad "vibes."