Transformation on the Blog

Hi All, A few months ago, NeoInsight wrote in asking questions about his marriage to his Emotionally Dissociated wife.  If you haven't been following the comments that followed the post, NeoInsight has not only divorced his wife, but has also left the Drama Triangle, too, which meant leaving another friendship behind as well.  You can read about his journey in the post entitled Questions about Emotional Dissociation which was updated just today.It is an interesting thing that our difficulties in our relationships always come back to ourselves.  It's very easy as Empaths to see the Emotionally Dissociated friend or partner as the problem, and believe me, they can be really aggravating.  But, the more interesting question is why are we in the relationship?  What are we getting out of it?  What is our part in creating the problem?  These questions take the focus to where it belongs--our own healing.  And when we heal ourselves, we change our vibration, and then everything around us changes, including our relationship that was the original focus.  Sometimes the relationship ends, but sometimes it also magically transforms.Elaine

Changing the Collective Nightmare

Hello Everyone,Yesterday one of my clients asked me,  "How do I stop feeling guilty for all my blessings when most of the world is in pain and has nothing?"   While I didn't channel the pain of the world as my client has done, I did have guilt that kept me from really enjoying and embracing my life, when I was first getting started in my personal healing. After years of schooling in physics, and then teaching, I used to feel guilty that I was able to stay at home and work on my own dreams, write, and play, and do tons of self-care required to heal enough to be creative. (At the time I wanted to be a sci-fi and fantasy writer---I had no idea that I was going to be struck psychic and a practice as a shaman was coming.) From the outside, from external comparisons, I looked like a decadent weirdo.  I had friends who were resentful and jealous that I was sponging off my first husband; I didn’t have to work as hard as they did.  And I felt guilty and defensive, and yet, a really cool life that I dreamed of living was a life that included creativity, play, and not working very hard at dreary jobs. The reasons I felt guilty and defensive were that I also bought into the belief system that I had to work hard, that life was a life of suffering, and I wasn’t putting value on the spiritual and the creative aspects of life.  No wonder I felt guilty! What I had to realize was, if I truly wanted a life of joy, I had to insist upon it.  I had to use the circumstances I was born with---born into the middle class, given a great education, given a very well developed mind---as the foundation stones to make my life into the best life I could have. What I discovered as I did so was that Yes, there is a collective nightmare out there.  And that nightmare is horrifying.  All of us are part of the collective, so we are all susceptible to being caught up in it.  At the same time, when I focused on what my Heart and Soul craved, life for just me became much, much happier and brighter.  Because I was willing to commit to myself, I found this beautiful, universal, and intelligent creative force was matching my efforts and bringing me more and more. I discovered that the beliefs that we hold to be facts, and the emotions contained inside those beliefs, are what hold us prisoner in the Collective nightmare.  When I decided to wake myself up, I was stepping out of the collective nightmare.  What also began to happen is that my immediate circumstances began to change for the better.  The people with the old belief system went away to be replaced with others with expansive, life-is-good belief systems. I have worked with clients who have invented their own prisons just by the beliefs that they keep.  I have also worked with clients who are subject to the group think beliefs of their culture or family, and have a terrible time creating the lives that they want because the group think is so strong.  And yet, every once in a while there is someone that breaks free of the collective.  In every case that is because they were strong individuals, deeply commited to their souls and to their hearts. What this made me decide was that my feelings of guilt were a mistake.  Somehow I was a product of my own culture's group think, too.  That was just part of the start-button for all human beings.  Freedom comes in learning how to cultivate that Soul Strength, that precious originality that we all have.  And when we do that, then we become these magical creatures. The really neat thing that happened when I got this was that I found that the people around me started picking up on the changes going on inside me.  My vibration was affecting the vibrations around me.  By my healing myself I was healing others simply by my presence.  I'd hear stories later of how I inspired them when I hadn't intended any such thing!  It was now the reverse of where I had started from: one individual being beaten down by my local group think---I had now grown so powerful I could actually change the group think around me instead! So, perhaps the way out of feeling so guilty is to say, Yes, the world is as it is.  It is full of pain, it is full of horror, it is full of unfairness, and very few people out there have purposefully created that for themselves consciously.  That is all true.  But, each of us has the power and the resources within us to gain personal freedom. You can gain personal freedom by acknowledging your own power.  Ultimately, if you *do* commit to your soul, that will mean that you will have to indulge yourself in the best life has to offer you, and that might feel decadent.  But it is precisely that mechanism that makes your Soul strong and allows you to change the collective nightmare into more of a collective dream of bliss.  And man, do we need that!!!! I think each of us has the potential to change the world by our very presence.  But to do that, you have to really commit to living a wonderful, happy life, revelling in it, engaging in it, and not denying the hard parts, too.   I guess I don’t feel guilt at the state of the world any longer because I know that each of us has the same internal resources to heal themselves.  And I also know that each of us must come to that healing in our own time and in our own way.  And I know that it is a mystery how that happens!  I know what I must do, and I put all my energy in following the calling of my Soul.Feeding your soul, commiting to your Soul's Journey is the surest and most honest way of changing the Collective Nightmare that I know of.Elaine

New Upcoming Workshop---children and parents

Hi All, I'm putting together a new workshop for parents of young children.  As a new mother myself, I am learning as I go!  This workshop will cover subjects such as how to create sacred spaces and containers for your children, how to keep your child heart connected so his intuitive and spiritual gifts stay intact, how to help the sensitive child (and the sensitive parent), how to help your children problem solve by tuning into your empathic gifts, and a few basics on energywork to help children and parents.  If you have topics you'd like to see discussed, please let me know!  I plan to have this workshop up and running by fall at the latest.  Stay tuned! Elaine

Drama and Empathy---being a victim

Hi Everyone, I'm in the process of writing a guide for empaths, and one of the topics that comes up again and again in my practice is how Empaths tend to get stuck in drama.  A drama can be created when we find ourselves acting or behaving as victims.  Being a victim is a position of powerlessness, which then makes it hard to create the life we really want.  We literally cannot manifest our dreams because the vibe we put out is all around helplessness.  Instead, what we attract to us is a Rescuer (who tries to fix us or solve our problems for us, keeping us powerless) or we attract a Perpetrator (who picks on us, and makes us feel even more victimized).  This can be a hugely vicious cycle.  The way to get out of it is to catch yourself if you are blaming someone or circumstances for your emotional or mental state, and then put yourself back into a position of power by claiming responsiblity for your emotions and thoughts.  For empaths this can be a challenge because we can identify so strongly with our emotions.  The emotions are not the problem, however, our perspective around the circumstance at hand is.  When we change the way we relate to the world, it automatically changes how it relates to us. 

Manifestation and the Power of the Spoken Word

Hi Everyone,Have you watched the DVD, the Secret, that is so popular right now?  Very fun, very inspiring, very simple.  Why can't we all manifest what we want?  Why are so many of us having so much trouble with this topic?  Well, one stumbling block I've noticed to creatives manifesting their dream is a misuse of their words.  When we are on the spiritual path, our karma starts coming back to us quickly.  So, if we've been in the bad habit of not using our words impeccably, we can create chaos in our lives as our external world immediately starts reflecting those creative words back at us.  It's a time to be vigilant in what we are saying!!!  If we are in the habit of commiting to events, to appointments, to others, and then we cancel at the last minute, the external world will offer us a nearly completed dream, and then at the last minute will "cancel" it on us.  This is a simple reflection---what we put out comes back to us.  When we commit to a spirit-based life, the law of karma acts quickly! If you are suffering from dreams that fall apart at the last minute, take a good look at your words and to if you hold yourself to your commitments or if you tend to cancel in the 11th hour.Elaine

Client Success Story

Hello Everyone, I just had the great pleasure of connecting with a former client of mine, Jagger Cook.  When we worked together a few years ago he had mentioned his love of music, especially songwriting and singing.  I'm so happy to announce that he has an album being released in just a few months!  The songs are beautifully spiritual, but they are definitely Rock.  I just love it!  You can listen to four of them at http://www.myspace.com/jaggercook   The making of this album is a tale of synchronicity and grace---Jagger I hope you'll share more!!Elaine

Creativity, Love that Lasts, and the Beginners Mind

In my last Vein of Gold workhop we discussed the importance of approaching our creativity, our relationships, and life in general with a beginners mind. When we become experts on our art, or on our friends and family, or on life, we become bored and boring. In reality, we cannot even know ourselves completely---we are each that much of a mystery. Creativity becomes a way of ongoing self discovery, of awareness in the moment, and of fully engaging the world with freshness. By approaching our relationships in the same way, by acknowledging that we cannot know everything about another, we are able to be fascinated anew. Try beginners mind not just with your creative endeavors but with your partner and see if you fall in love all over again. I would love to hear about your experiences with beginners mind.Elaine