Support for the Empath

Hi Everyone!I am happy to annouce that I have been able to record the Empath Telecall for those of you who are looking for support and insight into your intuitive gifts.  Right now there are two calls available for download, and the live calls are scheduled for the 1st and 3rd Fridays of the month.  Our next call is this Friday.  Please let me know if you'd like to join us.  Right now we've discussed how the Empath deals with input from others, basic protections, and we've just begun talking about the Drama Triangle and the Empath.  If you'd like to learn more, just go to my website and click workshops.  It's the first workshop listed.Here's to enjoying our Empathy and our intuitive gifts!Elaine

October Newsletter Available

Hello Everyone, My October newsletter is now available at http://www.clearreflectioncoaching.com/October2008Newsletter.htmEnjoy!!Elaine

Transformation on the Blog

Hi All, A few months ago, NeoInsight wrote in asking questions about his marriage to his Emotionally Dissociated wife.  If you haven't been following the comments that followed the post, NeoInsight has not only divorced his wife, but has also left the Drama Triangle, too, which meant leaving another friendship behind as well.  You can read about his journey in the post entitled Questions about Emotional Dissociation which was updated just today.It is an interesting thing that our difficulties in our relationships always come back to ourselves.  It's very easy as Empaths to see the Emotionally Dissociated friend or partner as the problem, and believe me, they can be really aggravating.  But, the more interesting question is why are we in the relationship?  What are we getting out of it?  What is our part in creating the problem?  These questions take the focus to where it belongs--our own healing.  And when we heal ourselves, we change our vibration, and then everything around us changes, including our relationship that was the original focus.  Sometimes the relationship ends, but sometimes it also magically transforms.Elaine

Questions about Dealing with Emotional Dissociation

Hello  I enjoyed your article on Intuitives, Empaths, and the Dissociated person.  I am traveling through a very difficult time in my life and have literally felt like I don't know what hit me.  I am an intuitive but just beginning my spiritual journey.  I am a scientist with an open mind and am finding so much truth in the spiritual side of life. I have been married for 12 years and although my wife is a great mother (we have two boys), I have discovered that I am in an abusive relationship - abusive emotionally.  I have discovered this after countless hours of research and reading and talking to many different people including a year of counseling (both with my wife and by myself).  My close family members have told me for years that things were not as I observed - I was ordered around and not loved or respected.  My wife is not a bad person, but we don't seem to function well together, unless I am taking care of all of the emotion.  We are different creatures.  I have felt like my energy has slowly been drained over the years and now I have nothing left to give to her.It appears that our marriage is over.  I have no desire to jump through the next higher layer of hoops to win her over.  We have both said that in our gut we know it is over.  We are separted but still sleeping in the same bed and this is the plan for a year.  I have withdrawn my emotional energy from her and I am feeling better, but at times she seems bitter.  I am preparing to move on, but finding I feel uneasy and lonely at times.I have two questions in relation to your article.  First, myself and others that I have shown this article to do not quite understand what is meant by the intuitive processing the dissociated persons emotional energy for them.   I can understand that my energy field has been drained, but not the processing part.The second part of my question is, is it better to stay in a dead-end relationship for kids sake or is it more important for my soul and that of my children (and even my wife's) to move on and be true to myself and hope to find another person of similar spirit?  I know similar people to me are out there, in fact I believe I met a soul mate of mine 10 years ago - we have been close friends since.   I know there are studies, some of which say it is best to stay together (for the kids sake), but others say it is best to show the kids true happiness, which can't be found in the current relationship.  So from a spiritual perspective, what is best for myself, my wife, and our kids?  I truly believe that my wife is dissociated and has deep emotional sadness and pain (which I can't get to in order to help), therefore the direction that I am heading appears to match what your article recommends - step out of the way gently, which I interpret to mean that I should move on (I am not suggesting that your article is telling me to leave my wife!).I know from my core that I must move on.  My counselor has told me this and he is helping me move in this direction - not pushing me but definately guiding me, my family has suggested this, my wife wants to.   I guess since I haven't done this before, it does terrify me, but I also know that I am happy on my own and will always be - alone or not, my happiness comes from within. I love life, my job, my kids, and the journey that I am just starting.  I am finding strength in my soul mate, friends, family, counseling, and wonderfully insightful articles such as this. I guess what I am looking for someone to tell me it is okay to move on, in fact it is the right thing to do.  I definately have the strength to do this, but it is incredibly difficult at times.  I know that you do not know me, so I am looking for a broader spiritual answer and not necessarily one specific to my situation.  I am mainly concerned about my children and how this will affect them.  I had hoped and expected to be with them every day of their childhood.Thanks for your time,NeoInsight

Changing the Collective Nightmare

Hello Everyone,Yesterday one of my clients asked me,  "How do I stop feeling guilty for all my blessings when most of the world is in pain and has nothing?"   While I didn't channel the pain of the world as my client has done, I did have guilt that kept me from really enjoying and embracing my life, when I was first getting started in my personal healing. After years of schooling in physics, and then teaching, I used to feel guilty that I was able to stay at home and work on my own dreams, write, and play, and do tons of self-care required to heal enough to be creative. (At the time I wanted to be a sci-fi and fantasy writer---I had no idea that I was going to be struck psychic and a practice as a shaman was coming.) From the outside, from external comparisons, I looked like a decadent weirdo.  I had friends who were resentful and jealous that I was sponging off my first husband; I didn’t have to work as hard as they did.  And I felt guilty and defensive, and yet, a really cool life that I dreamed of living was a life that included creativity, play, and not working very hard at dreary jobs. The reasons I felt guilty and defensive were that I also bought into the belief system that I had to work hard, that life was a life of suffering, and I wasn’t putting value on the spiritual and the creative aspects of life.  No wonder I felt guilty! What I had to realize was, if I truly wanted a life of joy, I had to insist upon it.  I had to use the circumstances I was born with---born into the middle class, given a great education, given a very well developed mind---as the foundation stones to make my life into the best life I could have. What I discovered as I did so was that Yes, there is a collective nightmare out there.  And that nightmare is horrifying.  All of us are part of the collective, so we are all susceptible to being caught up in it.  At the same time, when I focused on what my Heart and Soul craved, life for just me became much, much happier and brighter.  Because I was willing to commit to myself, I found this beautiful, universal, and intelligent creative force was matching my efforts and bringing me more and more. I discovered that the beliefs that we hold to be facts, and the emotions contained inside those beliefs, are what hold us prisoner in the Collective nightmare.  When I decided to wake myself up, I was stepping out of the collective nightmare.  What also began to happen is that my immediate circumstances began to change for the better.  The people with the old belief system went away to be replaced with others with expansive, life-is-good belief systems. I have worked with clients who have invented their own prisons just by the beliefs that they keep.  I have also worked with clients who are subject to the group think beliefs of their culture or family, and have a terrible time creating the lives that they want because the group think is so strong.  And yet, every once in a while there is someone that breaks free of the collective.  In every case that is because they were strong individuals, deeply commited to their souls and to their hearts. What this made me decide was that my feelings of guilt were a mistake.  Somehow I was a product of my own culture's group think, too.  That was just part of the start-button for all human beings.  Freedom comes in learning how to cultivate that Soul Strength, that precious originality that we all have.  And when we do that, then we become these magical creatures. The really neat thing that happened when I got this was that I found that the people around me started picking up on the changes going on inside me.  My vibration was affecting the vibrations around me.  By my healing myself I was healing others simply by my presence.  I'd hear stories later of how I inspired them when I hadn't intended any such thing!  It was now the reverse of where I had started from: one individual being beaten down by my local group think---I had now grown so powerful I could actually change the group think around me instead! So, perhaps the way out of feeling so guilty is to say, Yes, the world is as it is.  It is full of pain, it is full of horror, it is full of unfairness, and very few people out there have purposefully created that for themselves consciously.  That is all true.  But, each of us has the power and the resources within us to gain personal freedom. You can gain personal freedom by acknowledging your own power.  Ultimately, if you *do* commit to your soul, that will mean that you will have to indulge yourself in the best life has to offer you, and that might feel decadent.  But it is precisely that mechanism that makes your Soul strong and allows you to change the collective nightmare into more of a collective dream of bliss.  And man, do we need that!!!! I think each of us has the potential to change the world by our very presence.  But to do that, you have to really commit to living a wonderful, happy life, revelling in it, engaging in it, and not denying the hard parts, too.   I guess I don’t feel guilt at the state of the world any longer because I know that each of us has the same internal resources to heal themselves.  And I also know that each of us must come to that healing in our own time and in our own way.  And I know that it is a mystery how that happens!  I know what I must do, and I put all my energy in following the calling of my Soul.Feeding your soul, commiting to your Soul's Journey is the surest and most honest way of changing the Collective Nightmare that I know of.Elaine

May 2008 Newsletter

Hello Everyone!I've created a new newsletter on my website for May.  Included are topics around self-care and the challenge of healing work.http://www.clearreflectioncoaching.com/May2008Newsletter.htm  Enjoy!!Elaine

Letting the Heart Break Open

I had the honor of assisting a client through the beautiful but difficult process of letting her heart break open.  Like most of us, she had many defenses over her heart, and yet she wanted to bring a soul mate into her life.  I very clearly had seen for her that she was going to have this beautiful soul mate after she jumped off the cliff into her path as a shaman healer, and that they would travel together.  The man in the reading looked like the actor who plays Superman, so we called him Superman fondly.            As my client settled in to clear those places in her life that were holding her back from stepping into her calling, wonderful opportunities began to manifest for her.  She brought in a job that would solve her financial problems which required a relocation.  As she was waiting to relocate, she decided to follow her heart and try new and fun things.  She met some wonderful people to whom she connected on many levels.  She knew these relationships were temporary because of the upcoming job, so she let herself enjoy herself in the moment.  And she started a very close friendship and connection with one of the men she had met.            Because she was in the moment and she had told herself it was temporary, none of her defenses were up, and she was able to deeply connect with this man, and he with her.  Her heart was opening, and yet she was fearing the loss of having her heart break if she really let herself love him, since she knew that he wasn't ultimately for her.  I encouraged her to let her heart break all the way open, to let herself truly see and be seen by this man, to let herself love him with no strings attached, if she respected, admired, and loved him as much as she said she did.  It did not matter if he wasn't Superman, what mattered was her being authentic and willing to be truly intimate with him on all levels.  The truth was that she loved him, she knew that he loved her, there was nothing preventing declaring this except wanting to spare herself pain and grief when it came to an end.            And she went for it!  She held him in a beautiful heart space and told him she loved him.  He didn't respond immediately with his own declaration of love for her.  She was able to not take it personally that he didn't immediately declare his love, because the open heart does not need to take everything personally and understands the soul is on journey.  Because her Heart Space was so wide open, it allowed his to open, and he declared his love for her the next day.  Then their relationship blossomed, they could see each other as life partners, and an exciting future together was very easy to plan out.   I had actually felt the shift in my client from glancing at their picture in between sessions on accident and knew she had jumped off that cliff and found her Superman.  Before she took the action and made the declaration, the energy of the picture was completely different.           It was the Open Heart, the willingness to act from that space, and the declaration of love that changed her into Superwoman ready for Superman.           But my client remembered that the original reading told her that he wasn't her soul mate.  So, she was in a bind of fearing that she was giving up the destiny that she really wanted for a man that she loved who wasn't meant for her.  She was conflicted and confused.  How could what she had with her lover not be the relationship, how could it not match up with her path as a shaman healer when everything about it now felt fantastic and right?  She still was leaving for her new job in just a few weeks, but even the long distance didn't matter, they were both confident that it would work.           When we next spoke she was reluctant to discuss with me her relationship because she  wanted to become clear that she was hearing her own soul before I added any more information.  It was with the great pleasure to confirm for her that Yes, this was it!!  And that she had made it possible with her huge open heart.                  It was part of her journey to walk the painful path of opening her heart without a guarantee of success.  It had been a possibility that her lover wouldn't have responded with his own open heart, and wouldn't have stepped in as her soulmate.  Ironically, it was also part of her journey to feel the conflict of apparently going against what she had thought was her path versus what she knew to be her path.  Now she will know for the rest of her life that she can trust her heart, and that she can trust her soul to guide her.  She has the visceral experience of knowing what was right for her soul versus what was an old interpretation that didn't fit the new energy she herself had brought in.  My client will Source from her Soul now instead of from anyone else, even her shaman teachers.            I am so excited for this couple, I was laughing and crying as she was telling me her good news.  What a joy!  This is the magic of the Open Heart.  It brings healing and expansion to relationships, it literally pulled in a joyous destiny that was unavailable without the Heart Space to activate it, and it is the only guarantee to a rich and meaningful existence.

Destiny Retrieval

Hi Everyone,I just returned from another Soul Retrieval Training given by the Four Winds.  This training concentrated on Destiny Retrieval.  Sounds intriguing, doesn't it!!  Destiny Retrieval includes the art of journeying to the upperworld and retrieving healed states, gifts, and the essences of what we would like to create in our future. I have many inquiries from potential clients who want to have a Destiny Retrieval.  However, the key to a successful Destiny Retrieval is to work on all the old stuff that needs to be put to rest (die) in order to bring in something new (rebirth)  That means lots of soul retrieval work, extractions, and illuminations to clear the old imprints so the person's energyfield is ready to receive the new information.In my work with my clients, every once in a while, usually after several months of working together, I am not allowed into the underworld (where soul retrieval work is usually done) but told to go to the upperworld instead.  Those times are very exciting for me because it's a sure indication that my client has done his or her work that they are ready! and the Great Spirit agrees.Destiny Retrieval IS wonderful, but it is powerful work.  If we don't step into that powerful destiny retrieved for us, our lives can turn bad.  I've actually seen this happen to people who don't have a formal shamanic destiny retrieval, but who instead commit to a big change in their lives (to go to school, to bring in the right mate, etc.) and then they don't take the steps necessary to bring it into being.  So, it is important to recognize that we already do create our destinies with each dream we dream and each choice we make.The shamanic work adds more power to what we already do in a clear way. If you have questions or comments, let me know!Elaine

The Healing Process and Soul Retrieval

Hi Everyone,            It is such an honor working with my clients.  Each of them has committed to their own healing, which takes courage to go into the suppressed and repressed parts of ourselves.   As my mentor, Greta, points out, no healing can occur when emotions or thoughts are repressed.  When we consciously embark on our healing path these emotions and thoughts bubble up to the surface, which can be an incredibly painful experience.  Allowing the pain to come up and to pass is difficult precisely because we have been repressing these emotions for a reason.  Allowing this process takes courage, and it leads to lasting acceptance and forgiveness of ourselves and others.  However, it can feel like we are moving backwards instead of forward when the pain arises.            Much of the work I do with my current clients is around holding space for them as they go through the healing process.  Soul Retrieval work brings to consciousness lost parts of ourselves that left because they couldn't handle the conditions at the time.  That lost consciousness is returned, but sometimes it is difficult to see and to accept ourselves as we reintegrate these parts.  Recently I had a client who had done years of personal work on herself and her need to achieve.  Her drive toward achieving had made her ill, but she had used her illness to dive into her personal healing of her soul.            She was struggling with acceptance of herself, with letting go the impossible standard she still felt she must live up to.  The failure to meet these standards led to self hatred.  During a soul retrieval, her soul part was willing to come back if my client could let go of her self-hatred and accept the parts that she felt were not up to standard.  Until then, it couldn't help but leave again in order to keep itself protected.  The fact that the soul part wasn't ready to come back was a blow for my client; here was someone else who didn't think she was good enough even after all the work she had done.  If my client could see instead that she was on the right track, that there was no one external in her way any longer, only her own self concept, then she could begin to shift that on a deeper level.            But, healing is a messy process.  It sometimes gets worse before it gets better.  And then at other times miraculous healings take place so deeply that the client doesn't remember what had been bothering them in the first place.  I have had clients tell me that they didn't feel a particular soul retrieval was very profound, but from my perspective and their friends' perspectives, we noticed a huge shift in behavior.  This is one reason I tell clients that there are no guarantees with Soul Retrieval work---it is just too mysterious to be able to predict how a session will go.

Control and the First Chakra

Hi Everyone,I had a client recently who wanted to do some soul retrieval work on her need to control.  She thought that being controlling was in direct conflict with letting more Spirit in, and that this was the reason why her intuitive hits felt off to her, and why her journeying wasn't as spectacular as it had been. While surrendering control and going with the flow are required practices for most intuitives, for some reason I didn't believe my client was that controlling.  To me she seemed quite gifted in following guidance, trusting Spirit and leaping, and had even just recently changed her life at Spirit's direction.  Instead, I suspected that this feeling of needing to be in control was because she was feeling insecure and unsafe, and was still a bit ungrounded from that change. When we took a closer look, that turned out to be the case.  Four months before she had completely changed her life by moving from the big city to the country to live with her boyfriend.  She hadn't yet completely claimed her new home, and she and her boyfriend were still getting used to living with each other. Our need to control isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It can serve very good purposes, just as fear does.  Fear can motivate us to take care of things we might overlook, and it helps us avoid dangerous situations.  Control helps us organize our lives, and can keep all those details of being in the physical world from overwhelming us.  Problems do arrise when we let these first chakra energies get out of proportion.  But, if I have a client that has already done a lot of personal work on these issues, I suggest that perhaps their current need to control is an indication that their first chakra needs some attention. I had this experience myself when I left one way of life for another.  I had invited in more Spirit, and was horrified when my life fell apart.  however, it was only temporary.  Really, my first chakra was being reassmebled and strengthen to handle the new energy coming my way.  If you'd like to read more about my experience, I have written about the first chakra and growing your foundation on my website.  You can read this essay atwww.clearreflectioncoaching.com/FoundationChakraSystem.htmI am confident that when my client is feeling at home, and safe and secure, this will be a good indication that she has strengthened her first chakra.  With that bigger foundation in place, her gifts will easily come through again, and that feeling of needing to control will pass. Elaine

New Upcoming Workshop---children and parents

Hi All, I'm putting together a new workshop for parents of young children.  As a new mother myself, I am learning as I go!  This workshop will cover subjects such as how to create sacred spaces and containers for your children, how to keep your child heart connected so his intuitive and spiritual gifts stay intact, how to help the sensitive child (and the sensitive parent), how to help your children problem solve by tuning into your empathic gifts, and a few basics on energywork to help children and parents.  If you have topics you'd like to see discussed, please let me know!  I plan to have this workshop up and running by fall at the latest.  Stay tuned! Elaine

Drama and Empathy---Being a Rescuer

Hi Everyone,             The Drama Triangle is essential for Empaths and Spiritual Seekers to understand so we can avoid it and have more energy to create the lives that we really want. Practicing spotting when we are playing any of the three roles (Victim, Rescuer, Perpetrator) can help take us out of the drama triangle forever and into personal empowerment. Because the roles of  drama are archetypal (they are a part of our culture and group consciousness) they can be hard to notice when we are playing them.             Once the Empath comes to terms with the way he or she acts out a victim story, the next role to look at is the Rescuer.  This is the role that is the most confusing for Empaths.  Because empaths are easily hooked in to the emotional responses of others, and we are naturally compassionate, and because emotional energy is something that we are good at processing, we can find ourselves making others in our lives feel better by processing the others' emotions for them, or by trying to actively fix and find solutions for the others in our lives.  Although usually there are good intentions involved, rescuing usually does not work out well because it still leaves the victim disempowered and the rescuing empath depleted.            In more unhealed cases, rescuers can get themselves into trouble by making themselves necessary to the victim's life.  More common for the Empath is the times when we are not aware that we are playing the role of rescuer, and we discover ourselves in a relationship where we find we are considered necessary to another, even though we haven't chosen this for ourselves.  Then we can find ourselves feeling trapped and unable to figure out how to escape.            In fact, whatever victim we have attracted to ourselves has expectations on how we should behave as rescuer.  When we don't come through for this person the way she expects, she can become very angry with us and blame us for a failed rescue.  (The rescuer now becomes the perpetrator in the victim's eyes for the failed rescue.)  From the rescuer's perspective, we are in danger of thinking of ourselves as a victim of the angry victim's blame and demands, and so the original victim we were supposed to rescue has become the perpetrator.  If we do not catch ourselves at this point, we can continue this cycle of switching places on the drama triangle, creating discomfort and pain for everyone involved.            The way out of this, if we tend to be rescuers, is to make sure that our support is not crossing the line into the other person's power.  If we unwittingly attract a victim person to us, in some cases once we notice we are in this pattern, we can mention what we see, and if the person is conscious enough and willing enough, she may step out of their victim pattern.  In other cases we may have to weather a brief storm from her for failing to rescue the victim the way she would like us to, but if we hold still, the storm will pass and the victim will move on to finding a better rescuer.  And then we will be the wiser and stop the pattern earlier the next time. It's a practice!!!Elaine

Manifestation and the Power of the Spoken Word

Hi Everyone,Have you watched the DVD, the Secret, that is so popular right now?  Very fun, very inspiring, very simple.  Why can't we all manifest what we want?  Why are so many of us having so much trouble with this topic?  Well, one stumbling block I've noticed to creatives manifesting their dream is a misuse of their words.  When we are on the spiritual path, our karma starts coming back to us quickly.  So, if we've been in the bad habit of not using our words impeccably, we can create chaos in our lives as our external world immediately starts reflecting those creative words back at us.  It's a time to be vigilant in what we are saying!!!  If we are in the habit of commiting to events, to appointments, to others, and then we cancel at the last minute, the external world will offer us a nearly completed dream, and then at the last minute will "cancel" it on us.  This is a simple reflection---what we put out comes back to us.  When we commit to a spirit-based life, the law of karma acts quickly! If you are suffering from dreams that fall apart at the last minute, take a good look at your words and to if you hold yourself to your commitments or if you tend to cancel in the 11th hour.Elaine

Client Success Story

Hello Everyone, I just had the great pleasure of connecting with a former client of mine, Jagger Cook.  When we worked together a few years ago he had mentioned his love of music, especially songwriting and singing.  I'm so happy to announce that he has an album being released in just a few months!  The songs are beautifully spiritual, but they are definitely Rock.  I just love it!  You can listen to four of them at http://www.myspace.com/jaggercook   The making of this album is a tale of synchronicity and grace---Jagger I hope you'll share more!!Elaine

Life Transition

A request from a classmate:Elaine and friends,My name is Ann and we met at Sonia Choquette's Six Sensory Practitioner workshop in Chicago. I enjoyed connecting with you, Elaine, and Jenna, and am grateful for your efforts in organizing the phone call and encouraging the use of your discussion board. Thanks!I'm sure that one reason we connected is because you have made the transition that I am smack in the middle of...from one career to another and living more authentically as a six sensory person.I can feel my core energies getting stronger and stronger and the general vision for what comes next becoming clearer. I hope to learn more from you about how you managed your transitions as I make my way through mine.For now, I work at a university, coordinating computer training. The more my intuition grows, the harder it gets. The culture of not being real is stifling.The vision is to be self-employed as a feng shui consultant, combining floral design in my practice. Sonia Choquette recommended this in my reading, and I have been trying this on, with fun synchronicities along the way.I am listening for guidance about next steps...whether to leave my current locale - strong vibes for that -- and how, when....or whether to try to get more going here. Something in me wants to pick up and move to California and simply start a new life as my authentic self, with fresh new energy. And not a lot of money in the bank to do it with! :-)Any vibes or support or tales from your paths as I gather my courage and move forward would be appreciated.

I embraced my path, and now my life is falling apart!

Did you begin your spiritual path hoping to be more happy, centered, and successful, with more rewarding relationships, work, and abundance? Have you experienced your life falling apart instead?For me, and for many of my clients this is a common experience. Our dissatisfaction with life begins our spiritual search, and we become happier with the search, and then WHAM right when we get going life falls apart. What's going on here?My own thoughts are that when we truly commit to ourselves and expressing that self in the world, we come to a point where we must let everything that doesn't align with that true self go. Actually, all that doesn't fit is going anyway---it's our attachment to the old stuff (even if it was unhelpful old stuff) that hurts.I've gone through several of these clearing experiences over the years, and each time I've wound up more happy, centered, successful, with more rewarding relationships, work, and abundance. Now, I've learned to welcome the painful chaotic parts of this process, knowing that something better is right on the other side.Sometimes a kundalini experience accompanies the releasing process.What are your thoughts? Have you experienced this burning and rebirth process?Elaine

Why are all these old boyfriends showing up now?

Have you ever had the experience of deciding to change your life, and then suddenly all sorts of temptations appear to throw you off track?In our Attract Your Ideal Mate class we warn our participants about half way in that once they make the commitment to attract an Ideal Mate, many of their previous relationships will make another appearance. This happens with such regularity that we've made it a topic of the course. In one such instance a participant was contacted by several old boyfriends within the same week.What's going on here? We think what's happening is that Spirit/God/theDivine (how ever you want to call it) is arranging another opportunity for choice. Some think of it as a test of sincerity to choosing a new way of living (in this case, a new kind of relationship), but I wonder if it's not also an opportunity to achieve closure with old relationships before moving on to the rewarding next one.Has this happened to you, either with relationships or with other big life changes?Elaine